Am I becoming an Alcoholic? What is the risk I'll be one if i'm not yet one?

In the past, I've lost two family members due to alcohol related illnesses. And currently my mom is suffering from alcoholism as well, and I have many not related alcoholics in my family such as step dad ect. just like most of all the other females in my family. I've noticed that my siblings 19 and 20 and my cousin 17 all seem to be drinking a lot a well.





I'm a fifteen year old female, so it doesn't seem like I'd be at a high risk, But I started drinking at 11, and drank so much i had alcohol poising and got an M.I.P. charge all at 12. I've spent 4 years drinking very heavily.





In the last two years, I drank more and on average during the school year, I drank almost twice every weekend and at least on day during the week alone up in my bedroom. And in the summer, it probably equaled out to about 5 times per week. As a general rule, on a drinking night I consume about 5 to 7 shots of a 40% alcohol liquor


And through the years, I've drank a half of a fifth and almost a complete one, I currently weigh 127 pounds but have weighed even less like 110 to my current weight and been able to put away close to the same amount.





Physically, I don't think I'm an alcoholic, I have no with draw symptoms, or anything involving the shakes %26amp; ect.





However I'm not even sure if this is possible but in some terms


I feel like I'm an alcoholic emotionally wise, like my body isn't addicted yet, but something about me emotionally is,





I haven't drank in the past three weeks, and it wasn't a struggle,


(I never set out to stop, the way many things turned out, just allowed that to happen.)





But, now that I'm not really drinking I feel like something in my heart and in my life is missing. Hanging out with my friends, is different, it's simply not the same and it's boring. %26amp; alcohol has been such a big part of my life for so long, now that I don't really drink I spend my weekends at home, I feel so dumb like i don't have friends, actually me not drinking has caused some distance between a few of my very close friends.


I'm going through a lot of things in my life, and now that I have to deal with them, without alcohol taking the edge off, i realize how much I wish I were drinking. Pictures of me and my friends drunk at parties seem so far away now....





I'm so confused, I thought that chilling out with my drinking was going


to make things better as a whole, and allow me to finally be happy,


But instead I'm full of indescribable feelings and emotions, and the funny thing is, I felt the exact same way in sixth grade, when I decided to leave drinking, and all my bad friends in the past,





I've saw from first hand experience what alcoholism can do,


I watched my aunt slowly kill her self through the years,


and watched my grandma do the same. I watched my mom


also do the same, as well as my step dad and other grandma


I watch my brother constantly get DUI and go to jail, and in


my own life I know what alcohol dose to you.


From my own drinking experiences, I've saw the choices


alcohol has help me make, and I've saw the evils of it,


and I've felt like i was in a bottomless hole after week


after week after week of drinking, and having sex with


random guys.


I watched alcoholics bounce from rehab to rehab,


and watched them in the hospital with they're liver dysfunctions


and pancreas problems, and long ago I've decided that


wont be the life I'll live,





After all that, I don't understand why I still drink,


I know a lot about alcoholism, the effects the


death statistics, yet they don't affect me when I'm


drinking or stop me I just keep drinking,


and making the same mistakes over and over?








I'm so confused right now,





What the hell is wrong w/ me, why can't I stop drinking after everything


i've been through with it, and all IK about it?





Am I already becoming an alcoholic?





If I'm not, what is the risk of me becoming one?





How can I prevent this?





If I'm so unhappy about my drinking, why am i not happy about stopping either?








-I don't want to be an alcoholic, I really don't want to drink again, and let these 3 weeks be my start of sobriety, but these past weeks I've been hanging out around home, and stuff with friends that I have no temptation, how am I going to resist alcohol at a party, or if i simply go out once again, because I don't want to spend the rest of my life bored at home,





And with these emotions I'm feeling after not drinking, are they normal? Do any others get them or am I just really depressed?


Is there anyways to stop them?Am I becoming an Alcoholic? What is the risk I'll be one if i'm not yet one?
The short answer is - yes...you have become an alcoholic (that's why you can't stop drinking even with everything you've seen %26amp; been through). You started drinking at an unusually young age, you drink too much and too often. Its already affected your health (alcohol poisoning) and your relationships. On the positive side, you are still young, you've been able to quit for three weeks and you sound very insightful, sensitive, intelligent and motivated to find answers and do the right thing. You need to continue to NOT drink...get some help to help you stay sober and gain insight as to what purpose alcohol is serving for you (you may suffer from depression %26amp; use alcohol as a means of feeling less depressed or masking anxiety or just general negative feelings). Counseling for alcohol treatment will help you get to the bottom of those feelings, how you use alcohol and what you can do to constructively manage negative feelings. You're feelings are very normal for what you've been going through. You could start with an Ala-Teen group in your area. That approach doesn't work for everyone, but its a good place to start to learn about alcoholism.





I'm glad you posted your concerns.Am I becoming an Alcoholic? What is the risk I'll be one if i'm not yet one?
you should start drinking root beer for a while thats stuff is great for curing diseases
Unfortunately. yes it does sound like you are an alcoholic than is hurting and using it to dampen your silent suffering. Seek God, He'll help you get to the root of your pain that you may not even know exists. I'll keep you in my prayers. May He bless you with the truth and help heal you.
Yes, you are an alcoholic. Alcoholism is a disease and it's not something you can treat alone. You need to join a support group and make friends with people who don't drink. It's hard to believe but not all teens drink or do drugs. I'm 31 and waited until I was 23 to have my first drink and I have never done any drugs...not even marijuana.





Alcoholism cannot be cured so it's very important to have the support of friends and/or family. If you are unable to go to your family for help, it's time to talk to a teacher, counselor, minister, etc. Please get help now! Your life depends on it.





Good luck.
Correct me if I'm wrong but it sounds somewhat like your only activity with your friends is drinking. Do you ever do anything together besides that? If you don't then you've based your friendships on alcohol which isn't good.





Whatever you do don't drink to get rid of feelings. That is what alcoholism is.