My lifes a mess, I'm depressed, alcoholic mother, not sure where to live.. Help, Pleasee.?

Before I start, I'll say that i know there are people alot worse off then me.





I'm 16, my moms an alcoholic. I have a brother, and my mom would often hit my brother and sometimes me when she was drunk.


My dad only just realized she was an alcoholic (they are divorced, dad lives in england mom in america) while we were visiting him over easter break. He kept us and didn't send us home to our mom.


My mom was taking my dad to court for ';abducting'; us.


Cout was supposot be today, June 8th, but it was changed to June 22, and now is changed again till AUGUST 8th.


At court they are supposto tell me If im going home or staying here. I want to go home, she may be abusive but shes still my mom and i love her. And we are best friends in the day, before she starts drinking.


But I've just been given a choice. My dad has seen how upset i am over this whole thing, and how much i hate living here (i have no friends, no life and i really hate it) and my dads giving me the choice to make up my own mind, and he say's he will speak to his lawyer and stop fighting for me to stay if his lawyer can speak to my moms lawyer and figure out an agreement for me to go home. But I'm 50/50. I want to go back sooo bad, but what if she doesn't stop drinking? I don't ever want to have to live with getting hit again. What should i do? I'm so confused.





This may sound really stupid and immature, but i'm lost. I'm only 16!!!! I feel like my entire life is crashing down.My lifes a mess, I'm depressed, alcoholic mother, not sure where to live.. Help, Pleasee.?
Maybe you should only see your dad untill your mum is fit enough to look after you, when shes realizes your gone, she might change her ways.I have problems with my family as well. I have to go to court early august to do with my dad. Im 17 if you need someone to talk to e mail me.My lifes a mess, I'm depressed, alcoholic mother, not sure where to live.. Help, Pleasee.?
well all can tell you is to be strong for yourself and your mother and do something that she can be proud of you and make her know that you love her no matter what the problems is in your life%26gt;%26gt;%26gt;%26gt; mz.nini babii
You know that if she's still drinking, her behavior will be the same. Perhaps you can arrange for your attorney to tell your mom that if she seeks help and stops drinking, you'll come home.





Your question is neither stupid or immature. I wish you the best.
Try to raise some money to put your mom on a certain program where they'll help her. Then, live with whoever you feel like. Make sure you pick what's best for you. LIfe will get better, good luck, girlie.
You do not need to be with your mother until she gets help. You cannot help her if she continues to abuse alcohol and you kids. Stay with your Dad and pray your mother gets help.
hmmmm I can't think of that song.
If your mother isn't nice to you then dont stay with her.STay with the person who wants you and is nicer to you.
i wouldn't want to live with getting hit either. so tell your mom either stop drinking or i'm leaving.
have you thought of talking to a counsleour
do whatever your heart feels and btw this is the wrong section for those type of questions.
dont let her drink
stay with your dad at least you have safety
Things for you to ponder: 1). Your life is not crashing down on you. You have a father that cares a lot and a mother that does too, it's just that she has a serious flaw. 2). Establishing a new life, making new friends, learning a new system are all stressful factors and difficult, at first, to cope with. But, if you have a positive attitude and make a sincere effort, you will come to love your new life. 3). There is only one way to stop an alcoholic: that person must decide, for themselves, to stop drinking. This has not happened in your mother's case. When will it happen? No one can know. But, what you do know is that until it happens you cannot live there--you said as much yourself. 4). You only get one chance in life to transform yourself from a girl into a woman. This is your time. Don't mess it up. You know that your best chance, right now, is with your Dad. Right now you need support and stability above everything else. 5). It is important that you establish, at this time, if you haven't already, goals for you to achieve over the short, middle and long term. Once you have done this, then ask yourself which place will give you the better chance of achieving your stated goals. Incidentally, the number of your friends, what you do when you hang out and what you eat for dinner are not goals. 6). Beware of expecting the worst in a new environment: you thought may more easily come true. Buck up. Get positive. Join a couple of local activities in and out of school. Go to a summer camp. Stop feeling sorry for yourself.
Okay so i know you are young and it is a very hard decision. Let's face facts if your mom is an alcoholic she is not likely to change just because your coming home. People who drink like that are consumed by the bottle that is all they can think about. So if you are ready to go home and for things to be back to usual then that is your choice. But you also need to understand that your father is doing his part he is trying to love and protect you and to make it so that you can have a better life and not suffer the consequences emotionally and physically abusive people tend to leave. You are 16. You are old enough in any court to stand up and decide where you want to be. You need to remember though that if you turn away from your father who is giving you a way out, he may not offer that choice to you EVER again, so be sure that is what you want to do.
honey this is what i think


live with your dad


You do not deserve to be hit ever


get out now you can get help and you will make Friends in fact im here if you want to talk i went through the same thing and i got out real fast but i still see my dad its gonna be ok i promice
I'm sorry to hear about this.


Well you could try making friends and stuff where your dad lives, because even though you love your mom.. she needs to grow up because she's not ready to be a mother. Now since she would hit you and your brother.. the court might not let you live with her anyways.. I mean.. she could really hurt you. It's not the best idea. But yes, you love her. Talk to her, tell her you want to come home, but she needs to grow up first.. and once she does.. go back with her.





Good luck! %26lt;3
I feel so bad for you because you are so young and shouldn't have this problem. You must admit that your dad is a hero for taking care of you and letting you decide where you want to live. I know you love your mother and you should, before you go home, your mother should get treatment maybe that could be a stipulation that your dad could ask her Lawyer. You can't go back home and let your mother be abusive to you. She is sick and can't help it. I wish you well. If the court decides that you are to stay with your father, than make the best of it. Make new friends. And if your mother ever stops drinking maybe you can go home.
aww sweetie, its gonna be ok, firstly its not your fault that ur mom drinks in fact none of it is your fault, and you don't sound stupid or immature and your life isn't crashing i've been through hell and back with my mum if i told you u wouldn't even believe me.





I am truly sorry for what your going through and the fact that you've tried to talk to your mom and asking for help says a lot about you and the person you will become. (Very Strong and Brave) When a person have a alcohol or drug problem and in denial of the situation it will be very difficult to get through to them, because they don't feel that they have a problem and no one can tell them otherwise. I am sorry but your mom will have to come to terms of being a alcoholic or she will never stop no matter what you say or do. Try talking to her when she is not drinking and try getting others involved[if u can] like your dad, grandmother, ect and keep letting her know how she's affecting you and your brother lives and hopefully she would come through also let her know u love her and will support her but u no way will ever encourage the fact she drinks.





one other thing: if this hasn't help [and i can only type so much] i don't mind talking to you on IM Or whatever cause i know exactly what your going through, good luck honey take care and god bless may you and your brother and mum spend the rest of your life happy and painless.
I think you should give your mum an ultimatum.....she seeks treatment and stops drinking...goes to meetings etc....and you will come back,until then your staying with Dad.....(and do it even if you don't like it) because your mom is not going to get better til she addresses her issues...(you may want to check out alateen or alanon meetings yourself...I know I have a 16 year old that wont speak to me right now, I have a drug problem.
This isn't a stupid question sweetie, it is perfectly understandable what you are going through. I have been abused by my brother when he was drunk, many many times. It is not okay to be abused at all, and you are wanting to go back because you love her and don't care at this point what she is doing you probably are wanting to go back because a life with your father doesn't seem very stable. Many abuse victims will not tell anyone and will not do anything because it is by someone they love. Which is perfectly normal. But what you need to realize sweetheart is that abusers are going to keep doing it and it is going to keep getting worse and worse if you don't do something about it. Meaning go to the police soon! I would have a consular talk to your mother about this. Get them to show her ways out of alcoholism. Or you could take her to an AA meeting and it would most likely help. There is no telling what your mother will do next to you or your brother. It could get so bad she might start using weapons. For now i would stay home with dad and wait for that court date. Calm down, look to this as a helping hand from god to get away from whatever may come. Tell your father you love him very much but you do not know if staying with him is the greatest thing. I would tell him that you want to be there for your mother, to help her. If you are religious try and look to god for answers. God will definitly guide you. If it works out that you do go home with mom then i would wait till the next time she strikes and then i would call someone. For right now i would just stay home with dad and forget about whats going on in america its to much to handle anyway. Being 16 should be fun, make it feel that way :) I wish the best of luck to you and remember what is meant to happen will always find a way always.
This is a toughie...I feel for you.


Your mom is an alcoholic, undoubtedly she will continue drinking. Not knowing her it is hard to say if she is strong enough to want to quit for her kids sake.





My advice is to go back to your mom, she needs you. And as drastic as they may sound, tell her...if you hit me mom, I will hit you back...and do it. She won't forget something like that.
you need to be in a place that's safer and that's obviously away from your mother, visits can be accomodated and communication as well, but you're better off in a place where you're not physically abused until you're old enough to really make up your mind on whether you want to go or stay
wow that's terrible! im so sorry! no one should ever be put through that! have you ever read the book A Child Called It? if you haven't, its about an 8 year old boy that lives with his two brothers and two alcoholic parents. his mother beats him. it is a true story of the 3rd worst case of child abuse in california. i know this doesn't really apply to your situation, but i think it would be a great book for you to read in your hard times. eventually, the little boy excapes his horrible mother and becomes very succesful.





but if i were you, id go to a councelor and get help with your emotions. im sure that you will overcome this hard times. personaly, i have never gone through what your going through, but im sure you will get through this and become succesful also! :) just dont give up hope and my best of wishes go to you, honey!





i hope i helped you out!
wow! no one should go threw that. You are 16 and you are trying to find answers. All I can tell you is to be honest to the judge when you go see him or if you cant go make sure he gets a note from you .. send it to your father. Your mom needs help and it is not fair by making your life hell because she wants to be drinking, kids should always come first no matter what. I will pray for you and my sincerest best wishes to you and your whole family.
Have you talked to your mum about her drink problem?


Maybe you should tell her how it's making you feel and that she should stop. For now you should stay with your dad, maybe your mum might realise how you feel and try and stop the drinking. She can't do it on her own, she needs to get some help.


That's all I have got to say.








=)
aww well I'm sorry,


If I were in that situation I would live with my dad, you can always make new friends.


Or when your mom is not drinking I would talk to her and tell her to stop and let her now if she keeps acting the way she does your leaving her for your dad. Just try talking to her...if she doesnt listen well I would go to the dad. Its not worth getting abused.


Good luck.