Im not sure what i should do about my half alcoholic mother and wanting to go live with my father and step mom?

My name is .. lets say emma.?


my mom is an alcoholic and she has been for as long as i can remeber. Its been a big problem in the past, but today she told me that she was going to be more carful and watch how much she drinks, earlyer i talked to my dad, i have my first councalling session in a week with my dad, i do wanna live with him, but he lives in a small down 20 minutes from here, i would have to take a bus to school but thats not a problem, my moms drinking was embarrasing, scary, and unnessisary, but i think she can get better, it however wasnt the only reason i want to go , i love my dad and hes awesome, but my step mom can be a total witch, money is really tight at my moms house and not at my dads, im constantly sad here , i cry too often than i should, i want to be happy again, but i cant stand hurting my mom, i really need some advice PLEASE H E L P ! !Im not sure what i should do about my half alcoholic mother and wanting to go live with my father and step mom?
I think you should lay all of this out to the counselor. He/she can help you sort out your feelings and advise the Court.





Personally, I think you need to go. Your Mom's problems are her own, and she needs to solve them on her own. Any help she gets is better given by trained professionals.





If you do go, try very hard to get along with your stepmom. It's very difficult for two women to share a house - moms have problems with their bio kids, too. So try to be patient. And more counseling with your stepmom is a good idea, too.





Good luck to you.Im not sure what i should do about my half alcoholic mother and wanting to go live with my father and step mom?
First of all, if your mom has custody of you, you can't leave to move with your dad. Secondly your step mom may not want to have you there. That would create another bad situation. Get the information for your mom to go to alcoholic anonymous. If she refuses to go then talk to your dad and he will help you make the right decision.
The big thing to know about alcoholism is that even IF she did stop drinking permanently, the behaviors associated with alcoholism would still be there. They are very deep and you probably don't even know about it. Al-Anon can help you a lot, so I highly advise you to check that out.
Try to support your Mom if she says she wants to quit drinking. This is a huge step for her, and she may backslide many times before she succeeds. Please encourage her.


Will your Dad support her quitting drinking, even though they are apart now? If so, then use that help too. Even though there has been a divorce U all can still be friends. Good luck
it doesnt sound like you want to live with either of them, but if your mother is serious about her stopping drinking then maybe it would be okay to live with her, or maybe you should live with some other relative.
OK ';Emma'; (nice name, I like it)


I too lived with an alcoholic in my home.


All of those feelings you described in your statement, I felt them too, so I know what you are going through.


BTW, there's no such thing as a ';half alcoholic'; . Either your mom is an alcoholic or she isn't, and from the way you described things here, SHE IS!





Another thing I learned about alcoholics is they make lot's and lot's of promises that they never keep. So your mom may have said she will be more carefull and try to drink less, but even if she means it, she will break that promise unless she goes into treatment.





I know you would rather not have to move in with your dad, but knowing what I know from what I have been through, I think you should give it a try, even if it's only temporary.





Besides, it wouldn't be you hurting your mom, she's doing that to herself.
Once an alcoholic, always an alcoholic. I'm sorry for you, I've had to deal with it with my dad....who I don't talk to anymore. I tell you from my own experience...she'll never ';change';...even if she wants to. If you're happier with your dad...go to him. Doing what your heart tells you is right, instead of what you think you should be doing...changes your life. I'm thinking you feel guilty and you should stay with your mom because that's where kids need to be, with their mom right? But no, it's not always the right way. And who knows, if you leave her, it might push her to go through all the steps...and maybe she will change....but I say if your dad is awesome....just go..it's your life to, and you have to think about you first and what's better for you.





what bugs me about this though is....Why hasn't your awesome dad pushed for you to live with him if your mom is an ';alcoholic';?... he must know she is...so why?...if he's soooo awesome?
Girl i know where you are coming from.. My mom died when i was 3 because she had a alcohol problem. To my opinion you shouldnt leave your mom. there is only one mom in the world and if you leave and something happens to her you are gonna wish you had stayed with her. I know you are probably stressed out and you cry a lot and stuff and the decision of staying or leaving is ultimately up to you but my personal opinion is you shouldnt leave your mom. By leaving her you can only hurt her and make things worse. Think about it have you ever asked her why she drinks? Maybe she needs someone to talk to and understand her. She is probably carrying a painful secret or something deep inside that makes her drink and drink and drink.... Trust me I know what I am telling you because my mom went through it and now I wish she was here with me I went to her grave on friday and you dont want to know how it feels for you to go visit your moms grave its awful. You feel mixed emotions and after your mom is not around and years go by you think how life wouldve been if you still had her. Yeah she is an alcoholic but she is there with you dont leave her, help her. Good luckk
Well I am the dad that is on the other side I am a recovering drug addict slash alcoholic and I have been clean for a little over 3.5 years and it took me loosing everything that meant any thing to me my family and a marriage of 26 years. Listen to what I am telling you your mother will not control her drinking no alcoholic can control there drinking and be careful as she is telling you so if you really believe that than you are kidding yourself it will not happen. Don't worry about hurting your mom by leaving it will be the best thing you can do for the both of you. You need to understand that your mom loves very much and you probably have a hard time believing that because she keeps drinking and keeps telling you she is going to stop but she cant until she is ready willing and able. The best thing that could happen is she loses everything she has that is what it took for me. I have my 2 wonder full daughters back in my life today what a blessing. The only way your mom will get better is for her to get some help she needs to go to rehab for at least 30 to 60 days a week or 2 Weeks is just not enough. You need tough love good luck and use your head and do what you feel is the best thing to do based on all your options.
Your mom needs to get better...for herself though, not for anyone else. The fact that she recognizes that she drinks too much is a very good sign. My Mum still denies it. It took me until I turned 37 to confront her and tell her to stop. It felt good to say but she still denied it and continues to drink alone in her room at night.





With your mom...she needs help to get better. If she's been doing this for as long as you say, she can't go cold-turkey. It's an addiction and a disease. You should ask her if she would talk to her doctor about getting help. That way, you could live with your dad while she goes to rehab and concentrates on getting herself better. Ask the counselor and your dad about this too.





You can't make your mother do anything but you can make changes to make your life better. If you feel safer and better at your fathers, then you need to talk to both and them and talk about it.