Please help me. I can't take this anymore.?

I simply can't take it anymore. I'm nineteen years old and I live with an alcoholic mother. We recently moved to the East Coast and I do not have the money to move out.





Every day this joke of a parent gets completely wasted and tears into me mercilessly. It's all verbal, so I can't call the cops, though if I could I would in a heartbeat. She says horrible things and calls me fat, lazy, worthless and stupid etc. and that I'm a ***** and I do nothing but cause trouble. It goes on like this. She goes on about how I cause all her problems, she even blames me for her drinking. I try so hard to just lock my door and ignore her, but she keeps going.





Now, I'm not the picture-perfect daughter. I'm overweight, I wasn't a good high-school student, I haven't found a job here yet and I don't really do anything helpful other than cook and clean. But I'm in college now and I have a 3.5 GPA, and I work really hard to maintain my good grades. I keep to myself at home and rarely come upstairs at all. I don't make her drink. I hardly ever even speak to her. But whenever I do I've apparently done something to infuriate her to no wit's end.





For example, today my boyfriend was over at my house and apparently my mother called my cellphone to tell me it was ready for dinner, but I had forgotten to turn the volume on and when we did come upstairs she treated both of us horribly (my boyfriend was a guest in the household and has always treated her with the utmost respect). I mean, okay, my fault because I forgot to turn my cellphone on. But couldn't she have knocked on my door? Called out to me? Anything? And even still, was this so awful that both my boyfriend and me had to be treated this way?





This is just one thing. She once called me a stupid b*tch and screamed at me because after I made her cinnamon toast at her request, I forgot to cut the crust off. Does this seem right?





I don't get it. These instances are just when I've done something wrong. It doesn't take me to start something. It just happens. All of a sudden I'm just this fat worthless thing she's embarrassed to call a daughter.





My dad doesn't know what to do anymore. He wants to leave her but since they just bought a house he can't or he'll be in debt. We're both sick of her drinking and we've tried everything. We've tried depriving her of alcohol, and she just gets more. We tried therapy and she refused to talk to the therapist. She just sat in the room and stayed quiet until her time was up. She doesn't want to stop drinking and she's made it perfectly clear that she doesn't care if her family is miserable. She makes both me and my dad furious and screams so loud that our pets get scared and hide under furniture.





But lately I have just been less and less able to handle it. Usually I just hide in my room and wait for her to go asleep, but even right now I'm shivering cold, my entire body is shaking and my head is throbbing from how angry I am. I don't want to try to reason with her anymore. I don't know what to do and I can't stand it anymore, please help me.





And please, please, PLEASE don't tell me to look up Al-anon or try to admit her or do an intervention, because these simply don't work. She will not accept help and Al-anon will not help in the slightest.





That said I'm not sure what is left to say to help me, so I am hoping someone else knows what I can do. Please, someone, help me. This is Hell on earth and I am at the end of my rope. But I'm begging you, if there's something you think I can do, please help.Please help me. I can't take this anymore.?
I am really sorry to hear about your situation, it's not right, it's not fair and you certainly do not deserve it. I like the above poster's idea about the Intervention show, but in the meantime, or if that does not come to pass, you need to go to Al-Anon meetings.There you will find support and coping skills to live with an alcoholic. It's not easy, but she is your mother, you do love her, and she is very, very sick, with an aggressively progressive, fatal disease. You can't do this on your own,nor should you have to. My heart goes out to you and your family. Empower yourself so you don't get caught up in your mother's disease. Good luck, I will be thinking of you.Please help me. I can't take this anymore.?
my mother used to act the same way ,i was totally convinced that she hated me.i allowed her behavior to affect my grades and rebelled in the most self destructive of ways. i responded to her abuse with abuse. i gave up on her, although we lived in the same house we barely spoke to each other. her addiction destroyed her liver and kidneys, she got very ill and suffered before she died. she tried to befriend me before she died but i was to bitter and unforgiving. her abuse lowered my self esteem and worth.i did not cry at her burial i was certain things would now be better. that was 15 years ago and i am still trying to pull myself together. i just want to encourage you to stay strong don't allow her ways to interfere with the plans you have for yourself. recognize that your mother has deep scars that are causing her to treat you this way yes she does. i cant tell you what should be done about your mother but please make certain that you always love you ,you will leave home soon. be respectful to her devote your time to something positive. deal with her with a forgiving spirit because you dont want the guilt associated with rebellion to follow you into adulthood. whatever you do dont destroy yourself.
Well atleast you have your dad on your side. Sit down and talk to him in private and see if there is someway if you got a part time job if he could secretly help you out on rent. Or even find a roomate. If thats not possible i suggest maybe finding and talking to some other family member and see if you could stay with them.
I am very sorry to hear that. I know this is a long shot, but maybe you could try to do an audition for the show Intervention. I mean if none of the rehabs work for her, maybe being on a show would open her eyes. Maybe you could find a support group on how to deal with a person like this. I really don't any other answers but maybe you and your dad could find a roomate to help with the bills and kick her out? A stranger would be better to live with than her it sounds like.
I am crying right now. That saying where ';someones got it worse than you'. that applies here. I have an alcoholic father and thats not even it...theres so much more..he is controlling and manipulative but he has moved out. Ever since my family and i have been so much happier and healthier. Your story is very sad and i just want to hug you right now even though i have no idea who ou are, but i cant tell you what to do. In this case you sound like a very smart girl considering you have a 3.5 gpa...get through the first 4 years of college and try and get a scholarship or something into a good one for a nother 4 years...if your out of luck for jobs be a teacher..they are always needed and its a good thing to have. For inspiration on what to do next in your life watch this movie-Homeless to Harvard:The Liz Murray story...it it a true story i believe and very moving. God bless you and i hope one day you will have a better life:)good luck