Is my fiance an alcoholic and should I stay with him?

My 36 yr old best friend and fiance is drinking more often at higher quantities. He is Irish and German and drinking runs in his family so I understand that if he is an alcoholic, it is probably hereditary. He is bipolar for about 15 years (so is his mother) and he has been taking Lithium for a while and is doing great regarding his bipolar disease. He drinks. He drinks at Least every other day. We both have been looking for full time jobs and we may loose my house to foreclosure, so the situation is stressful already. We are handling all this fairly well because we know that we are together no matter what. BUT.... I do not desire to be with an alcoholic. He has a new friend who drinks nightly and my fiance is doing the same when they hang out together. The other man is in his 50's, a vet, not married, has a bunch of guns, money, and works in construction. My fiance was suppose to be getting work from him and attending jobs with him. For the 3 weeks they have known each other my fiance has brought home about 40 dollars, gets DRUNK when is with this guy. It started as going to his house for work, then coming home drunk, then spending the night because he is too drunk to drive home. He has spent the night as this guy's house twice. It's not really his house. He is house sitting a mansion actually, so I can see the attraction from my fiance's side....free beer and liquor and hanging out in a very nice place.


My fiance lies, he'll tell me that he going over there to work and comes home with no money. He can't even pay his car note or his auto insurance. He'll call me and tell me he is coming home in a couple minutes or a little while and I won't see him until I wake up in the morning. He asks me for gas money to get to his part time job, but he'll come home with beer and is asking me for money two days later. I was laid off from my full time job and now I only have a part time job which doesn't touch my mortgage payment. He knows this. He knows that the mortgage hasn't been paid since June and he knows that we are not doing good at all financially. He throws a childlike tantrum and gets rude and snippy if he can't drink. If I tell him that I will go put gas in his car for him, he gets mad and snippy because he won't be able to purchase beer. He started drinking more than every other day about 5 weeks ago, but we can't afford it and he has EVERY excuse in the world to ';need'; a drink. I don't drink. I use to drink wine which took me about 2 weeks to go through, but I stopped buying it about 6 months ago and because I know it is not an essential and needed product in this house. He doesn't understand that 20 buck a week for beer is TOO MUCH, we can't afford it and I am starving (because he eats twice as much as I) literally. He knows all this....................................鈥?br>

He knows that I won't marry an alcoholic (who refuses to get help) no matter how much we love each other. He is also vegan which he and I know isn't good for someone with bipolar disease, but he has been vegan for decades and it is how he eats, but he thinks that drinking isn't hurting him at all. He is already getting fatter since he has been drinking more often.





I told him that I want him to live as long as me and that he is speeding up his bipolar disease, that he shouldn't be drinking while on Lithium even though his disease is in check right now, that we can't afford it, that he shoudn't drink and drive, because he does....BUT he still comes up with ridiculous excuses to DRINK. We made an agreement about 2 months ago that he would only have 2 beers a night every other night. This was his idea and we both agreed. He broke the agreement about 3 days later and drank for 3 days in a row after we got into an argument.





Does he just not care?


Is he an alcoholic?


Should I break up with him?Is my fiance an alcoholic and should I stay with him?
I think you answered this all by yourself - \





';My fiance lies';





';he still comes up with ridiculous excuses to DRINK.';





';He broke the agreement about 3 days ';





If you're doubting this relationship and asking complete strangers for advice I believe you already know the answer. :(





Be strong, get out and look back on this in 20 years as a good decision and not ';I wonder what I could've been or could've done';. Remember to love yourself first then find someone to share it with. Is my fiance an alcoholic and should I stay with him?
I will be a hard life if you stay with him. Unless he changes very soon, I'd break it off. Hard to do, but youhave the rest of your life ahead of you and easier to break it off now than after being married...
I do not desire to be with an alcoholic? Yep l agree with ttommyfu. Sounds like you already made up your mind you just need to get some reinforcement. Get a job make the break or else let him drag you down with him.RR
Re-read your own question and pretend you are advising someone else in your situation. What would you say?





This fellow has a severe drinking problem, isn't taking proper care of his bipolar disorder, lies, is argumentative, and is financially irresponsible. Even ONE of those problems would be a deal-breaker for me personally, but all of them, taken together, can spell nothing more than a life of heartache and unless you are one who loves misery, you absolutely cannot marry this person. Also bipolar disorder has a hereditary component, so any kids you have might have the same problems.





Definitely break up with this guy; he is not marriage material and he never will be.

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