... So I need help! How can I ration with my boyfriend when he get super intoxicated and irrational? He drinks everyday..... at minimum a 3-6beers and half to a whole micky (this is a min.) He does contracting and his exucuse for this habit everyday is ';I work hard all day I wanna have a beer when I come home';.... I understand that, and thats fine with me, but 6 or more plus a micky is not ok EVERYDAY plus not including when he decides to go all out which is at least 2-3 times a week. When he is sober he is much quieter and sometimes I feel like he is annoyed or tired or cranky, but he sais thats just how he is. When he is moderately drinking he is ok, sometimes a little over bearing and sometimes tries to bring me into the drinker bender. When he is drunk there is NO telling which way he'll go. He is Native and lived on the reserve growing up and had a lot of trauma throughout his childhood, and also was exposed to a lot of bad that most people would never experience in their life. He was raised around drunks and druggies his whole life. However I do NOT believe this should be used as an excuse and when he gets drunk and I argue the fact he sais ';well thats how i was raised this is how it is deal with it'; when he is sober he sais he wants to change (but he wont do anything to change it)
Also he sais the same thing for fighting... that he has always been a scrapper and when he gets hammered he gets loud and obnoxious and tries to call on complete strangers to fight... he always waits for the other person to hit him first, that way he didnt ';start it'; BUT HE DID.... he just knew what buttons to push to make the other person hit him, making him not just hit the guy but completely beat the guy! to the point of knocking out on the ground twitching.... he doesn't know his limit and when he gets like this he is unstoppable!!! I'm not leaving him... I've put to much into this and i love him very much, I want to know whats a good approach to working WITH him on this that he can agree to and feel good about doing. I dont want to fprce him to do anything I want him to decide he needs to stop, but how can I guide him safely into that mentality?
Please help!How to deal with an alcoholic?
You are in denial as well. I think soon the police will solve this problem for you. He will end up killing or seriously injuring you or one of his other victims. Then he will end up incarcerated and his drinking will end for the time he is in prison.
Good luck.How to deal with an alcoholic?
And you didn't know this about him when you decided to move in? He's your boyfriend - the time before getting married is used to decide if they are the right person for you. I'm guessing he's not going to be the guy for you. Leave and do it now before something bad happens. Maybe that'll be the wake up call he needs but I doubt it. Don't get suckered into coming back as soon as he goes a month without a drink. You need to see it for a year - but I think you should move on and find a respectable partner to raise a family with.
forget about him for now, get yourself to alanon!
if he won't do AA, try couples counseling.
the regretable thing about his situation is he won't get help until he wants it. something will have to occur to get him to be truly willing %26amp; he aint there yet. someone already suggested that you leave him %26amp; it may take something drastic like that to get him to be open minded/
Dont deal with it Trust Me!!!! Im going thru a divorce form my Acholic husband, he would tell me he was going to change, go to a couple of meetings, cry and beg, but he always went back to his old habbits, I thought that since I loved him very much it was going to be very difficult to leave him, but its not after only 1 week away I was the happiest I have been in years...
Good Luck!!!!! You deserve to be treated right and not emotionaly abused by a drunk.
Smart people go to Ala-Non to learn how to deal with an alcoholic in their life.
If you really love him then you may have to give him up to save him.
If you are willing to go to any lengths to save him then you must be prepared to lose him.
Life is not easy and there are no guarantees.
since he is in denial you might have to let him go on to the bitter end and let him take the consequences of his actions, which could be severe.
If you are willing to do all of this and he becomes willing to enter detox and a recovery program then there is hope.
but like I said; no guarantees .
Look in the telephone book under Alcoholics anonymous and they will hook you up.
You cannot help him. he must want to recover, and the only person that can talk to him and help him is another alcoholic already in recovery.
This is how it works and the only really sure way it works.
it is a miracle program and it is freely given from one alcoholic to another.
A normal person will never understand and an alcoholic will never trust a normal person with the facts necessary for treatment.
I cannot spell it all out here; you must talk directly with someone in AA for the facts you need.
The argument you put out will not work, and you will frustrate yourself no end trying to help him if he doesn't ant help.
If just does not work that way.
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