How can i help my alcoholic boyfriend and myself?

I live with my alcoholic boyfriend and love him, he realises he has a problem - he can drink several bottles of vodka and wine each day, it's usually about a week then i physically stop him. He has a great job and a child to be a father to, i'm trying to get my career up and running but seem to spend my time looking after him and ensuring he keeps his job and keeps access to his child. He has also lost his license so i have to do all the driving. I do really love him and when he's sober he loves me. I also have to deal on a day to day basis of the fear of him turning up drunk, i鈥檓 at the end of my tether! i'm still young with lots of friends but rarely get to see them let alone go out for a beer and a chat. All advice greatly appreciated.How can i help my alcoholic boyfriend and myself?
Realizing he's got a problem and 'getting it down to his toes' that he has a problem are two different things.


Someone who really gets that his life isn't working is willing to get help, go to meetings, get therapy.





And I'm sorry to say that you have a hand in this. It's called enabling and is done with the best of intentions. You're ';looking after him';, you're driving him around, you're putting your own life on hold. In short, you are protecting him from the painful consequences of his choice to drink.


Actually, the smartest thing you could do is make it clear that you're not willing to put up with his drinking anymore. And then be prepared to make it stick, because honey he will take you down with him.





Your boyfriend would do well to hook up with AA, but you can't make him do it.


You would do well to hook up with AlAnon. The good news is: you are in complete control of your own life. You can change it. And changing yourself means the relationship will change.





Good luck.How can i help my alcoholic boyfriend and myself?
Your boyfriends sick and you should help him, but think about your own life and your childs aswell.


Have another determined, real good go at convincing and pushing him into getting himself cured and if it works or at least improves your bad situation, give him another chance.
give him a choice you or the booze if he really wants to stop he will go for help this is a disease and its not easy to quit but you can if you want to. ask him what is more important. you sound like a lonely girl that's between 2 rocks i wish the best for you
He obviously loves to drink more than he loves his family. He needs an ultimatum. If you don't do anything it'll only get worse, he may end up dead.
have an intervention. tell him you love him and you know he has a problem and thought you could handle it but you really cant because you worry about him too much. tell him he needs to get help or you wont stay with him any longer.
The best thing you can do is to walk away. This is his problem and you can't do a darn thing.





My gf kicked her husband out and told him to shape up for 2 years and he could come back. He did. Most won't.





To bad you are preggers.





Why do you feel you can ';fix'; him and have to take care of him?
15 years ago l was 21, married to an achoholic who was verbally and pysically abusive l left him because it was his problem not mine,l was to young to be dragged down by that. Last year l had to get in touch with him to sort out a divorce he was still drinking! think of yourself get out,if you mean anything to him he'll kick it and come back if not you are better off out of it.
There's a lot more going on this relationship than presents itself to you. I would recommend attending Al-Anon meetings on a regular basis as a good start. It only takes a hour a week. People are very accepting. They're not prying. They'll glad to share their lives. They'll glad to share what they've learned. They are glad to listen if you feel you want to share. They have excellent literature that is a combination of the experiences of many women who have found themselves in the position you find yourself in now. They know your pain. They will share what they have found that works for them. They are not dogmatic. The won't make you commit to some creed. There are no dues. There's also Ala-teen for the children. It could be the best move you ever make for yourself. I know it was for me.





http://www.al-anonfamilygroups.org/meeti鈥?/a>





You may very well find a contact number in the blue pages of your local yellow pages that could get you a listing of the Al-Anon meetings in your area.
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If the alcohol problem is something that occurs when he is alone or having a bad day, try to plan more activites to make your relationship more exciting. As long as you don't mention the issue and instead plan a surprise drive to the movies or somewhere fun, it can be fun. Of course not all guys like going out all the time, but anything to get him away from drinking would be good. Plus if he has a child and wants to be a fun father, maybe (if you have a relationship with the child) suggest he/she comes over and you guys do some cute crafts together (if the child is old enough/young enough to have fun doing it) You guys could just go out to the park or beach even...or go out on your anniverary day and get food. Good luck!








xo
I hate to say it but if he won't get help you can't help him. Explain to him how you're feeling and the consequences he'll face (such as you leaving) if he doesn't get his drinking under control. Then if he doesn't do what needs to be done follow through. Most importantly remember that this is not your fault and you shouldn't punish yourself for it. Unfortunately tough love is just that - tough.
This is a difficult one, Had the same problem myself, you love them so much but realize that the life that the two of you are leading is not good for either of you. This situation could go on for years and years you will forgive him many many times until you reach the end of your tether, if he loves you and he's children he will make the effort too change if he doesent want to change for you and he's family, then he is not for you, you are worth more than this. Give him another chance then leave him in search of a more rewarding life.