My dad is an alcoholic, my mum thinks he is now a dry drunk? (long, okay, very long, but i really need help)?

He has been off drink for about 10 years. I just turned 15. My mum told when when I was younger and when he drank, I hated him and that I would never go near him. He went to AA meetings, which obviously helped him stop. Nowadays, when my mum, my sister and I go to my granny's house (my mum's mother), which we do only once a week. She lives 20 minutes away. We sleep up there every Saturday night. My dad though, he always gives out about that saying she(mum) is always away every night of the week up there. He hates the people from there, for some unkown reason.





But they're mostly all my mum's relatives (it's a small town) and friends, whom she enjoys spending time with. It's not that my dad actually would be with my mum if we were at home on Saturday nights. They have nothing in common. He mostly goes away most nights, he doesn't have a job you see, well technically he does, he has a delivery milk business, which he does NOTHING for. My brother works and goes out to deliver the milk, my mum does the bookkeeping for the business, what does he do? Take the money. And nothing else. His behaviour is so much worse these past months, he stopped going to AA meeting about a year ago, in which his behaviour has just deteriorated. My mum is very unhappy with him, he knows that. He is just one of those people you can't communicate with, no matter how hard you try.





My mum says he is acting the exact same way he does when he drank (And no he is definitely not actually still drinking) Which is called a dry drunk. Of course, he can never accept that. I woke up today to hear them argueing over it, she, calmly, tried to say to him she thinks he should start going back to the AA meetings. You know how when somebody has a drink/drug problem, no matter what or how many times you say it, they can't admit it, they're in denial they have a problem? Well, it makes it a million times worse with my dad because he is the kind of person who will not listen to anybody else's opinions. It's all about him. He knows everything. He is never wrong. Nothing is his fault. Everything that goes wrong with him or in the world is somebody else's fault, never his. He couldn't accept that he still needs the AA meetings. He says he is over that period in his life and it's done with, but the minute an alcoholic says that is the minute they start to go bad again. A few weeks ago, my dad and I had an arguement, he hit me, kicked me multiple times and threatened me with a wooden board, nothing he has ever done before. I was left with a big cut on my face which I had to tell my friends at school that I fell against a stack of drawers. After that, my mum and him knew there was nothing they could do to save the marriage, they wanted to sell the house and get seperate ones but with the economy the way it is, you wouldn't even get half of the house's worth. My mum now thinks, is losing all that money really that bad opposed to her being happy?





My questions are, where do you think we go from here? I have no problem with my parents splitting. I HATE my dad. That's not just typical teenager talk, I am deadly serious. If anybody moves out, it should be him, my mum works around here, we go to school here, the 3 kids(me, mu older sister and older brother) would live with my mum. My dad has no reason to stay, but he is stubborn. He wouldn't leave. He wants a wife that will do everything for him without hesitation and take all of his crap, which my mum is not willing to do.





What do you think should happen with all this? I don't want to leave my house, selfish, whatever, but I'd rather my house that I grew up in rather than my prick of a father. They're currently trying to decide what to do, I'm just confused.. How could he be convinved to back to AA meetings? Either way, we're still not happy living with him, but it would be better and easier to stay here, just until the we could get full value for the house.My dad is an alcoholic, my mum thinks he is now a dry drunk? (long, okay, very long, but i really need help)?
There is NO SUCH THING as a dry drunk! After many years of AA membership myself, I can tell you that there are few nutjobs more nutty than long-term AA members. To them, anyone who doesn't go to meetings anymore but has no trouble staying sober is automatically declared to be a ';dry drunk';.





There is, however, such a thing as a raving jerk. Perhaps he is THAT, but how on earth is going back to AA going to help THAT problem when the group is FULL of raving jerks...people claiming to be sober when they really aren't....sexual predators...yeah, that's a healthy place to send someone.





Look, if you don't like your dad, that's fine, sounds like he's a jerk....but a group of jerks won't make a jerk into a nice guy.