Wednesday, August 18, 2010

I dont know how to deal with my family and life anymore? I want to run away?

I’m a 14 yr. old girl and I hate being a teenager. I know that everyone says “being a teenager is tough” but it really s*cks.


1.) I’m over weight (FAT) I dread going to the store and having to buy clothes. I recently changed my lifestyle by eating healthier and lost 10 lbs in the past month and a half but obviously no one notices! So it’s like I’m doing it for nothing. And I know everyone is probably going to say that “you’re still healthy” but it’s not like everyone can see that. I’m still fat. I can’t look in the mirror when I change and my neighbor keeps calling me a “fat b*tch.”


2.) My parents got divorced when I was 7 and I have been living with an alcoholic step father ever since. He nags at me and my brother every minute of the day. He is a hypocrite and lazy. He has me my mom and brother do everything in the house. I guess he thinks he can because this we his house before we moved in. My mom has to give him her pay check, he takes what he wants from it and gives her money to go buy groceries (or things Russ (step father) wants. When my cat throws up he will have my mom or me clean it up. It seems to me like he is sexist. He is forcing me and my brother to be a republican and I don’t want to be, I don’t believe in war, And I think gay marriage is perfectly fine.


I was trying to get a job by pet sitting so I can start saving money for a house and get out soon as possible. He said he could put a flier in his hospital bulletin board. So a few days ago I made it and he was supposed to take it to work, but he forgot it. Which seems odd because I put it right on his wallet. Then the next day he took it but he came home and said that he isn’t able to put fliers up promoting business. Shouldn’t he have known that before since he worked there for more than 20 years? He favors my brother and has me do most the chores around the house. He has me and my bro put his beer in the cooler for him while he goes on the computer. I just hope he dies soon. When me and my bro were little he threatened us that he would whip us. He never did but he still does threaten us and I’m scared one day he will. He leaves messes for my mom to clean up. He never does the dishes, vacuuming and he used to do the clothes but he has me do them now.


3.) My brother has been a jerk ever since he got x-box 360. He won’t do his chores that he is supposed to until 10 minutes before Russ comes home. He never wants to go outside and play anymore. He would pay me 1 dollar to do his vacuuming and he has probably gained 20 pounds from the game station. He is obese and I’m scared he will get diabetes. He’s only 12 and weighs 170. He is big. I weigh 20 pounds less than him and I’m 14(I know I’m big too) He calls me fat all the time which doesn’t help me self esteem.


4.) My mom and I don’t have a good relationship. My mom and I don’t have the same interests, and she is obese too. She eats a lot when she is depressed and apparently she is depressed from Russ and most likely us. I can’t talk to her like other girls can talk to their mothers. When I tell her something serious she just laughs and says for me to get a life. And it hurts that I can’t even talk to my mother about important things. She doesn’t like it when I go see my dad, (I only see him every other weekend) and she likes to skip weekends. Russ will make up excuses like “we re having a party so you cant go to your dad’s” but we never do have a party it was just a lie. I love my dad to death, he is the coolest person I have ever known and I though maybe I could move out of here and live with him and my step- mother but they said I cant because my dad said my step- mom’s son couldn’t move in because he would have to many parties and he does drugs which can get them in trouble.


5.) My mom and Russ like my brother more than me. They spoil him with more gives, more money on his birthday, and they treat him like he’s 4. But behind their backs he swears and he talks bad about them and he doesn’t like them neither. On weekends Russ gives us chores and Lionel never does them. He usually has to vacuum and so he would usually have me do it for a dollar or he will just pi up the crumbs on the floor and say he did it. When we both made honor roll which I tried really hard to make they only congratulated Lionel. And it’s like he didn’t even want it or even try to get it.


6.) I used to be suicidal and cut my wrists and hide them with big bracelets. One night I was crying in my room and my mom saw me and tried talking to me but I couldn’t tell her I was suicidal and wanted to die. I lost a few best friends this year because they made new friends and when their friends were on vacation or gone they would use me until they came back.


7.) I don’t know what to do anymore. I can’t take therapy, my mom won’t allow that and she will think I’m fine. I can’t move in with grandparents they won’t allow it. And I am too scared to talk to my school counselors. I doubt they can do anything because if my step-father found out that I went to someone looking for mental help, he won’t be too happy. I know you might think my life isn’t bad because I am lucky to even have a family but it doesn’t feel normal. All the girls and people in my school have great lives, they have cell phones, they have the body, the boyfriends, the perfect mom to talk to, and I hate not feeling good about my life.





I am ugly and its no wonder guys don’t like me. This is two pictures of me after I was suicidal. It was about few months ago. Am I that ugly?


http://i137.photobucket.com/albums/q231/…


http://i137.photobucket.com/albums/q231/…





Is there anything else I can do other than just suck it up and get through it? I’ve been doing it for more than 5 years and to be honest, I can’t believe I’m still here.I dont know how to deal with my family and life anymore? I want to run away?
how can she do that??? she doesn't even have a cell phone...





i can't see why you can't move to your dads... to the hell with the other drug dealer...





i think you should talk to your dad and tell him all this...





or you could try and look for a a similar thing like the number above but online... and make sure its not a fake thing... send them a e-mail and try to have something done...





(if you are scared that they will check the internet send me a P.M.)I dont know how to deal with my family and life anymore? I want to run away?
hey i want to help you and give you a little advice but i cant get in contact with you but im an 18 year old girl who has went through similar experiences. dont give up! i would like to give you some hope that everything turns out ok. so if you see this contact me somehow. hollister2727@yahoo.com

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1-800-448-3000 call and talk to them they will help you. This is the number to the Boys and Girls Hotline you can talk to them, they will listen and talk with you whenever you need to.
Hi. I think you are very pretty in both pictures but what I like most about you is your mind. You are both bright and wise, determined and intelligent. You will do just fine. Work hard to achieve your goal for independence but do not fall victim of those who might manipulate your situation offering a quick fix. I have all confidence that you will do great because your desire for peace will guide you well. Wish you all that is good and liberating.
Okay, you sound like you could use a good friend to stay with alot. Seriously though if you talk to your counselor and ask her not to let your parents know then she won't. You can always ask her first. I had a problem one time and the couselor was gonna tell but when I explained further she chose not to because she knew it would help me. I think you should talk to your counselor and if you have a good friend then maybe try to visit alot. That sounds bad but at least there it sounds like you will be better taken care of. Why not ask dad what you moving in has to do with anything else in his life. Tell him you are in a bad situation and would like to live some where else and you want to know if he can help. Maybe if you try your counselor you will find a way to work things out. If your mom took the time to ask what was wrong then she has to care. Maybe you should also try telling her how you feel, if she cares she will try to find a solution for you even if it means that she has to find you a better place to stay. I hope all works out for you. You need to realize that your weight does not define who you are or who you become. No matter what your weight you will not be happy until you realize that skinny or fat you are a person that is great enough for people to care about and know. There are a lot of things that make up a person and body weight is only one of them. Besides that depending on your height you may not even be considered overweight. Being so skinny your sickly looking to me is worse than being fat. I don't want to have to worry about falling over from starvation or any thing else. You are probably about the right size. Just keep your head up and do everything you can to get an education so that when you are old enought you can get a good job and support yourself so that you can get out of that house. You are 14 so you don't have long if you want it bad enough I am sure you may be able to find a way to be considered an adult sooner than 18 you would have to check your laws. People may think it is funny but no kid should be in a bad situation so if all else fails file suit to divorse your parents. It has been done,not sure it would work again but hey what would you lose.
Yo should lose weight and be healthy because you want to. Don't care about what others think. eople arecruel and very judgmental but if you build up confidence and don't care what they say. I know it's realy hard just try. i'd tell your neighbor to back up and just there mouth it is none of there business. As for your step-dad, i would stand up to him, or if worst comes to worst go to the school counsler they actually really help and they can guide you through your problems. My brotheris 9 and weighs like 110. I confront him and tell him that you are worried about his health. Luckily my brother took my advice and excersise and rides his bike al the time. You could make up a raly fun game and ask ur brother to play. That way if he gets into it he will be exercising and won't even know it. try to connect with your mom. Even if you don't like her intrests try what she likes, and pretend to be interested to get closer with her so you guys can open up. If things get so bad tell yuor dad you need help and he shouldbe ableto help you guys and maybe you can stay with him instead of your mom. Suicide and cutting ur self will never ever help you it makes your body worse and sick. Try to vent to somebody. Scram into a pillow go for a long walk. Stress balls work. Try to get a moment alone with your mom or dad and tell them you are in need of help and/or someone to tlk to. If things get bad with your step dadgo to a friends for a couple days. Let things cool off. School counslers will help you. Just face your fear and go to them. I did. If you believe you are ugly you will never get any where in life. If guys don't like you becauseof your looks they are stupid jerks. It doesn;t matter what is on the outside itabotu whats on the inside. Just tell yourself they are wrong and believe in your self. Try to build your self esteem. I hope this helps you.

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