Married to an Alcholic?

I met my husband through the internet (I know). My first husband said that he was leaving me on our 21st anniversary and I was 16 when he and I got married. I was scared to death to be on my own as I had never been. I told this husband that I'm Mormon, and don't want to marry a man that drinks or smokes. My husband works the 3-11pm shift and I was waiting up for him because he had told me '; that he almost face planted himself into his machine,'; and that he could fall asleep at the drop of a hat. He is usually home by 12am. It got to be 2am and I called his cell phone and it went straight to voice mail... I told him that he'd best be driving into the driveway in 15 minutes. Then it got to be after 3am so I called again and left another message. Finally, I just couldn't stay awake any longer and fell asleep at 4:30am. I woke up to find he still wasn't home and on the answering machine was three messages. The last one said that he was in jail and was arrested for DUI!!!


I've had people tell me that a leopard will not change it's spots. And I called Aly-non and a woman there told me that I have a tough road ahead of me. I'm going to be babysitting the rest of my life. He's pushed me away from him emotionally and affectionately for over 3 years. Oh, I forgot to mention that this man takes 120.00 a week out of his check before putting any money into the bank. Also, I've found out that he was going to the store regularly and taking more money out on the debit card. I can't tell you how many times that they've threatened to shut off our lights.


I inherited my home from my parents and sold that one to move into this home and start my new life. We dated for a little over a year and as with my first husband of 21 years, I thought that I knew this man. I have worked to fix up this one all by myself. I've painted the house and garage and fixed up the inside. I've worked very hard to make this a loving home. I've told him that he is going to have to put all the money into a checking account with just my name on it, until he earns my trust (if I can ever trust him again). I had wanted to meet a nice Mormon man and thought that I did. The church did check on it for me, and he was Mormon just not practicing. I'm so confused, it's like my brain just can't hold my thoughts together. Any suggestions?? Is there anyone else there that has or is now, living with an alcoholic? My parents never drank and I don't understand why a man would want to do this to a faithful wife that has a beautiful home. Every time I think that I can't cry anymore, I do. He goes in front of the judge on Tuesday and I'm not even sure I want him to come home, let alone go on with our marriage. He also likes to take drugs. He's on percaset (not sure of spelling) darvocet and he found a doctor a couple of months ago that put him on Methodone. He has also taken medications out of my pocketbook. Do I give this marriage another chance? Do you think his being arrested has gave him a wake up call? Do you think that AA and Aly-non will be able to help? Do I call it quits and lose everything that I've worked very hard for? I found.... I do have more tears.Married to an Alcholic?
i'll make this short. he will never change unless he gets help. if there is anywhere else you can live then you need to remove yourself from this environment immediately. tell him (if you want the marriage to continue) that you can reconcile only after he straightens out his addictions. I'm not 100% sure but i've always heard methadone was prescribed to treat a heroin addiction. definitely start going to alanon. there you will find many others who have lived through what you are going through and can give you excellent advise. do this as soon as possible. I know what you are going through and even though my marriage(20yrs) failed i finally found peace and am living a normal healthy life again. good luck.Married to an Alcholic?
While you have invested alot of time and money in this marriage, you have ask yourself if you can continue to pay this steep price without getting any value in return. It is possible for an alcohalic to ';recover';, howver, the odds are against it, especially now that he's also apparently using drugs.
Well that's a tuffy, my father is a crack addict who just came out of a rehab facility after being in for a year, and I suspect he's back on the crack. I say maybe give a trial separation, let him get some treatment if he wants treatment, but if he doesn't then I say leave the marriage. You can't change or force him to kick the habit, he has to want to do this for himself first and foremost, but if he's not willing to try then yes, it's time for you to move on, cause you don't need that kind of mess dragging you down. I hope everything works out for out for you and your husband as well, I understand your pain, take care.