What do you think of this story? It's a short story i wrote!!!!?

What It Feels like to be a Ghost By: Tia Walker





Before my mother died, she used to tell me to be the person I want to be and don鈥檛 feel afraid to tell people what I feel like inside. I never really thought about what she told me until now. I鈥檓 only 15 and I live with my alcoholic step mom and my sex addicted dad. I鈥檓 a antisocial person. I never really hang out with my friends anymore, because I鈥檓 afraid they鈥檒l know my secret. The biggest secret I keep is that I cut my wrist. The reason why I did it was because my dad. My dad raped me and I鈥檓 afraid to tell anyone, not even my friends. I just keep this feeling all bottled up inside. I know my friends talk bad about me behind my back. I know they say things about the way I dress and all. I don鈥檛 really care cause I鈥檓 invisible. No one will care about me so why should I care. One thing I enjoy doing is playing the piano. Something my mom taught me how to do. I drown out all the fights with my step mom and dad and actually get away. I miss my mom, and I wish she was still alive. Every night I pray that she will come back and I know that鈥檚 stupid but its true. Music is the best thing that ever happened to me. At school I鈥檓 nobody but I have this hiding spot where I can play an electric piano I brought from home and a acoustic guitar that my grandmother gave me before she died. Music is my soul. Almost is my family. Tonight my dad snuck into my room while I was asleep. I was dreaming about my mom and I thought he was my mom and then when I woke up it wasn鈥檛 her. It was my dad, a monster, a perverted man that I called dad. I couldn鈥檛 move because he was so strong so I just laid there until he was done. When he was done. I played moms lullaby in my head to soak out all the pain. But I kept feeling that pain in my heart, burning until it was done. I couldn鈥檛 take that pain and so I ran from my room, out from the apartments, and on to the roof where the world around me thought I was invisible. I stepped on the edge of the building, gripping the rails behind me. I decided to let go. Let go of all the pain, let go of all the suffering, let go of me. I fell from the tall building and the only thing I thought about was my mothers lullaby playing over and over in my head until I hit the ground. So I ended all the suffering, all the pain and regret of being here and decided that I鈥檇 end my life. That鈥檚 what it feels like to be a ghost...








漏 2008 Tia WalkerWhat do you think of this story? It's a short story i wrote!!!!?
Keep writing,any outlet like that is pure talent,whatever the subject may be,never get discouraged,its an amazing gift,it sounds like you have alot of passion in your words,you feel them as you write them.Save all your work,never let anyone discourage youWhat do you think of this story? It's a short story i wrote!!!!?
aww... so sad..





you did a really good work . you brought out the emotions wonderfully !





hope your life is not in any ways like the girl's !


bless you !





keep peening !


regards !
THATS GOOD!


loved it.


deppressing as hell by hey whatever floats your boat!
kinda suspenseful... sad and depressing... wow... good writing though I really felt that girls sadness
I really like it, I want to read more!
its kind of... i don't know.. very dark... kind of depressing... make there be some good things in this girl's life
Well the narrative made it sound like the girl couldn't give a damn about what was going on around her, like she was tried of thinking about it all.


Was that the kind of mood you were going for?


If it was, it was done fairly well.





But the whole thing seemed a bit too abrupt to me.