How do you cure an alcoholic who doesn't want to be cured?

my mum's been an alcoholic for the past.. three years? maybe four, but she's at her worst now. she just literally came out of prison and while it was absolutely great to talk to her when she was actually sober in prison, the first thing she did on being let out was go down to the off-licence, even before she came home to see us. i want to help her but i don't know how. my dad's given up on her, and he's forced to pay all her credit card debts off and we don't have that kind of money to feed her habit. (i'm sixteen, i live with my parents and two younger brothers, by the way) sometimes it feels as if my real mum is dead, because this drunk mum isn't my proper mum at all because her sober self and drunk self are completely different personalities. alcoholic meetings don't work because we can't get regular ones - they come every few months or so which is useless. she does WANT to stop (at least she says so), but she's drunk before i even get up and i imagine her only sober time is the early hours of the morning. she even helps herself to midnight drinks. :/ i found a question on here that i asked about my alcoholic mum a couple of years ago, which made me realise how bad it's got. if we take the drink away from her, she gets more and runs up more bills. if we leave her with it, she drinks that and then gets more. which is better to do? i don't want her to drink herself to death. we fight a lot but she's still my mother regardless. i just want her to be back to normal. how am i meant to do that?





/rant.How do you cure an alcoholic who doesn't want to be cured?
There is nothing that you can do to change the hurt and pain that is in your mother. That is something that she is trying to deal with and blot out with the use of alcohol or whatever substance. You on the other hand have a chance to change your life for the better. Look up Al-Anon and find a meeting. You can even go to an Al-Ateen meeting where you will meet others who are facing the same issues as you. Find the help that you need and it is amazing what will happen to you and possibly your entire family.How do you cure an alcoholic who doesn't want to be cured?
You can't help her if she is refusing the help. You dad needs to ensure she has no access to the funds so he can take care of the finances properly.





She is says what you want her to say. Hopefully she will decide to get better before it is to late.
The only way for an alcoholic to stop drinking is to lose EVERYTHING they have and hit the rock buttom. family members leaving them, losing the job, house and everything. It is only then that they realize they must stop drinking.
You can't fix other people. No matter how much you want to be the one doing the fixing, only the other person can fix themselves. The best you can do is help.
You didn't cause it, you can't control it and your can't cure it. Let go, let God.
If someone doesn't want to be cured, you won't be able to cure them.
^^^^^


win.
i really do feel for you...my dad too is an alcoholic %26amp; there is really nothing any of us can do to cure them...until they admit they have a problem %26amp; are willing to go %26amp; get help.





if you take their drinks away...they will beg, steal or borrow to get more...so that too will not work. all we do now is just be there for my dad....%26amp; i think that is all you can do for your mum. be strong...not easy i know...she is lucky to have a caring child like you!!
I've been in the same situation as you and I'm afraid the above answers are quite right, you can't make them do it.





My mam got seriously unwell because of her alcoholism and ended up in rehab, she discharged herself once then went back. When her time was up the next time and she came out she cut herself off from us all. At Christmas we never heard anything from her at all,





You need support from people who know what its all about, you can't cure her or even make her go to rehab or anything. i'm sorry to say alcoholics say what they think you want to hear them say 'I want to stop drinking', 'if I didn't have any drink in the house I would stop'.





The most important thing is for you to realise your mum has to take responsibility for herself and I know thats really, really hard, especially when you're young and want and need you mum back.





I know too how hard it is when you see other peoples mum's behaving normally, I still feel jealous of other peoples relationships and I don't know if that will ever change.





but at least I know that it's not my fault, its not something I did that made this happen.





As far as I know My mam is sober now, don't know where she is or if she's well but I hope she is. At the end of the day - like you said - she's my mam and I love her, despite the emotional damage thats been done by now.





I've put the link on for alateen which is a support group for teens with a problem drinker in the family. you might find it helpful, you might not, you might never get in touch with them but then again, you might.





http://www.al-anonuk.org.uk/alateen/inde鈥?/a>





I hope things work out for you. Just remember you're not alone.





I'm a lot older than you (37) and I found it difficult when we were going through it this last few years, my heart goes out to you.





take care
you can not i had a friend who was like your mum it hard my friend was bad on drink it killed her in the end. try get help i not know you but do want to you to go through what i did it not nice if i had to tell you all i be here at xmas please try get help for her good luck take care
unless an alcoholic wants to stop they never will and trying to help can be extremely draining for yourself you could try encouraging her to do so and drop little hints about how this is affecting you. i have been trying to help a neighbour/friend to stop for about six years now and though she is fully aware of how bad her behaviour is due to instantaneous mood changes and depression and confusion due to brain damage through the drink she continues in a vicious cycle of drinking, harming herself and her pets, hurting her friends who are trying to help her to suddenly realising, apologising, saying she wants to stop and then obviously never doing so and over the time i have tried to help her doing so has made me very ill and had me attacked on countless occasions and even left me to die when i fell unconscious through diabetes and only now i have realised that i cannot ever hope to stop her and although she can be the nicest and most caring person you could want to meet she can instantaneously change to the most evil person ive ever known and has seriously hurt me on many occasions. taking the drink away will never help but if when sober she is willing to cut down and limit the amount and rally wants to stop you may get there in short steps if you must try unfortunately we live in a world where both crime, violence and often destitution are fuelled by alcohol and an alcoholic is a very selfish person who cares about nothing but there next drink. my advice would be dont waste too much of your own life trying to do the impossible but obviously as this is your mother it would be very hard to turn your back so i wish you luck and hope for you and your mums sake she can stop
I understand that it is natural to love our parents no matter who they are. First of all I hope you know it's not your fault, and I would encourage you to seek help from a variety of places; councilors, Pastor, Another adult you can trust. Though this may be hard to accept your mom can't come back until she realizes she needs help, no matter what she tells you (though she may love you) she needs a professional to help her. Yes it's your right to love her, just don't become a co- dependent or an enabler. Also I would encourage you to make a plan on what you want from your life, and ask for help so you can gain this instead of sacrificing and losing your self; while loving someone else. If she loves you, this will also be important to her. Otherwise you loose all the way around. I have experience with a father and an ex- boy friend (He passed away believing he could handle it, and he was only 36 yrs old). you can find a local ALA-teen or local hospitals/clinics for more help/advice. Sacred Heart is also a good rehab place, contact them. What you are going through you most realize is bigger than you, if you really love her. Good luck
You don't.





YOU cannot cure anyone, and with a problem like alcohol and drugs, they ONLY way the person will be cured is when THEY want to.





SAYING you want to stop and DOING it are two different things. Substance abusers will most often tell their loved ones anything to get the loved ones to stop nagging! it doesn't mean anything -- they are not going to stop.





One thing you MUST do is stop ';enabling'; her. DO NOT provide her with alcohol, or with the opportunity to get alcohol. DO NOT fix drinks for her. Take ALL alcohol out of your house. if she wants alcohol, she has to go buy it. Do not give her money. if she's already drunk, she can't drive -- she has to walk.





Eventually, she will get down to the point that she will realize that she either quits drinking or she will die. MAYBE you can enlist a doctor's help in this, but substance abusers won't listen to them, either. To the substance abuser, everybody is a liar.





If the doctor cannot help, then there is nothing you an do bu wait until she hits rock bottom. Be there to keep her safe from harming her own self, and LET her hit bottom. be there for her when she tried to fight her way back up.