Moving on from the Past from an Abusive Father who wasn't abusive 100% of the time?

at 10 I lived with an alcoholic, drug addict, bipolar, verbally, physically abusive NOT sexually abusive (not to me)dad. when I lived there, he was also normal, good %26amp; loving I have good %26amp; bad memories more bad. Later I found out he sexually abused 2 of my sisters one his from 2nd marraige, one mine. There is no excuse for the horror that he did. He died in 1989. Before he died I confronted him with it. He denied it. I believe my sister and love her, at that time, threw away any good for him. 16 yrs ago. Last nite my mom in an argument said ';youre just like your father'; which would be calling me hated, evil, devil, black dark non human. I have hated him since, throwing away all the good memories with the bad for my sis's. I cant anymore, to have inner turmoil, hate and anger inside of me. He is part of my past and how can I throw away 12 yrs of living with him. I was always felt to be ';different'; when I visited my mom %26amp; fam. I want to forgive and move on, yet respecting my sistersMoving on from the Past from an Abusive Father who wasn't abusive 100% of the time?
just forgive him thats the past and this is the future, what more cani say. remeber him for the good times you had not the bad ones.





Trust me i know my mum was an alcoholic an she did a lot of bad things to me including neglecting me an locking me out of the house for hours. BUT we had our good times and thats how i have learnt to forgive her. By remembering the the where we were all happy.Moving on from the Past from an Abusive Father who wasn't abusive 100% of the time?
I would have to believe that it was the alcohol and drugs doing all these terrible things, I feel for you and your sisters for going through what you had and what you are still going through. I know that things are said in the heat of the moment, meaning what your mom said to you, about you being just like your father, I think she was referring to the argumentative way, not those dark ways, I hope that you and your sisters get some type of counseling to move on. I do believe this will be held up inside of you until this is actually confronted and dealt with, you and your sisters deserve to face this and move on. Your mom as well. Once someone, like a father figure, has become part of your life, he will always be. My brother was emotionally and physically abused because of alcohol, it was an accident that happened when my brother nearly died that made dad realized what he had been doing and struggled with himself for a long time and changed, the alcoholism lightened up a great deal and he saw, but the damage remained way into my brother's adulthood, even now, it still bothers him, he is in his 40's. We had many long conversations that seemed to help him, however I do believe that professional help would have been the ultimate. I believe the same for you. God Bless and help you, I pray that you can face and then overcome what has plagued you then and still is.
I kinda understand on a level.


But I dnt really no wot 2 say properly.


But all dat pain n anger is neva gnna completly go away, ur gnna have 2 live wid it, ur dad may hav dun wrong but u shudnt have 2 suffer, try talkin 2 sum1 about it, mayb ur fam. Ur gnna live wid dis 4 da rest of ur life but its not ur mistake, dnt let it take ova u.
Your father was a sick man. Remember, forgiving does NOT mean forgetting! And forgiving does NOT mean you can't be angry!