How to live with a recovering alcoholic?

i am a female my husband is a recoving alcoholic.please excuse my spelling. we have been married for 11 years.he quit drinking 3 years ago.i have tried so hard to be there for him but its been a really tough road for me@the kids to but that doesnt seem to matter only that he quit drinking.throughout all of this i guess throughout our 11yr relationship we just dont know each other and what we do know we dont like.i want him to see that his alcoholism effected everyone not just him.he wont deal with any body else.he doesnt even remember most of our lives together.i can never do anything right or up to his expectations every day.i just feel so alone like i have the past 11 yrs.i thought once he quit it would get better he just got better at throwing nasty words my way.i fear our marriage is gonna end.im at my lowest point and feel so lost.life with a recovering alcoholic means what exactly?thanx lostHow to live with a recovering alcoholic?
There is a term in AA called a Dry Drunk. They have quit drinking but still exhibit many of the same deep-seated behaviors. If he isn't attending meetings regularly, he isn't recovering. Sounds like he may need to revisit step 4. Al-Anons is a support group for family members of alcoholics both practicing and recovering. You may want to check them out. http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/ Good Luck!!How to live with a recovering alcoholic?
awww sweetie-pie first you deserve a {{{hug}}} for hanging in there as long as you have, there is no ';set'; rule's to dealing with a recovering addict, but if his sober enough now then you need to let him know how you feel because he cannot say he dosen't remeber what he said, you and your children are NOT emotional punching bag's for him, if he dosen't like his life and how it's turned out that's his baggage to carry not your's, i strongly sugget ala-non meeting's for you and if your children need to go. you've spent your whole 11 year''s taking care of everyone else's need's who is taking care of you? and I'm sorry to say if your husband was a asshole before the drinking stopping drinking isn't going to change that. please please get some help for you ,you deserve it,you don't have to be sad and upset and tore-up all the time, it sound's like the dsyfunctionally person may have stopped the destrutive drinking, but not the hurt, your heart has been beat up enough give yourself and your children the gift of a healthy better mentally life,if he can't be at your feet thanking god you didn't leave him a billion time's when you should have, then he dosen't deserve your love, your heart is a presious thing that should be being handled gently and carefully after being so abused if he can't figure that out then ,you keep moving forward for your sake and maybe he'll wakeup if not then you've served your time in prison hell, set yourself free
Living with an alcoholic is too much for most of us. Give your local Al-Anon group a phone call and find out where meetings are that are close by. You can also go to Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) open meetings to help you learn about alcoholism (AA) and how families can cope (Al-Anon), and how kids can heal (Ala-Teen).





If you need to leave you will get the healing, strength, and support to leave. Some wives learn to cope so well that they can live in the same house as happy, healthy, strong and very courageous women (like me). You will learn not to care about the alcoholic anymore, you will learn not to be afraid of him anymore or his petty threats.





Your husband is very sick. He needs long and sustained treatment to be healthy and happy or even to take responsibility for all the chaos, damage and destruction he's caused to you. But you can't make him go to AA if he doesn't want to. Let him suffer, while you and your children go to meetings and get better and better. You will meet women who feel exactly like you do and have overcome.





Good luck to you. And God Bless you. You are a very strong and wonderful woman.