Tuesday, August 10, 2010

I am living with an alcoholic(my wife) she is able to keep of the drink but always starts again?

can any give me advise how to help her and how i can cope with this situation pleaseI am living with an alcoholic(my wife) she is able to keep of the drink but always starts again?
Lots of luck. I've gone through that for over 25 years and it will probably never end.





The best you can probably do is to try to keep the problem from affecting the rest of the family. In other words, she can't drink while she's living at home. I really didn't take a stand soon enough to salvage much of a relationship between her and the oldest, but she actually does have a strong relationship with the younger three.





It's hard to take a stand like that when you run a significant risk if you try to back it up. Even if the chances are better than 50% that you could get custody if it came down to it, the chances of the situation turning into a complete disaster are better for you than for a woman with an alcoholic husband.





It's also easy to be satisfied with just feeling like things are working. You can pretend that if you coach 10,000 soccer teams, help with the school work, and so on, that you can somehow make things work out. In fact, if you can feel like things are working, you can even compliment yourself on how well you're doing in spite of a tough situation.





It's doubtful you'll be able to deny the damage it's doing forever.





Plus, the flip side is how she stopped drinking. She stopped having friends, period. She never went in for those 'happy, life is so good' types, so she hasn't had a friend at home for 10 years.





That would probably be a more incredible feat if she hadn't slowly transitioned to the point where she spends a month or two at home each year and 10 months 'visiting' her family back home where she CAN drink.





With the last of the kids having graduated, I don't see much reason to think she'll ever really live at home, again.





In the end, if she stops, it's her success, not yours. There's no pot at the end of the rainbow where you can feel you triumphed over this problem.





Of course, if she can't stop, it's her failure, not yours. You don't have to be crushed because she couldn't stop. Her drinking isn't something you can really control.I am living with an alcoholic(my wife) she is able to keep of the drink but always starts again?
one of you needs to move out and get your own place so that she can understand the severity of her alcholic addiction. and she needs professional help.
Until she hits rock bottom and admittes to herself that she has a problem and her life has become unmanagable because of her drinking.You pray over her ,try different meds,none of which will work. She has to willing. You need al-anon and she needs a/a. Try getting her into long term treatment. this is a very serious disease that people just dont take serious. I wittness people relapseing everyday from alcohol and drugs
The best things you can do for both of you is start to go to alanon meetings they can help you with all kinds of things.
tall her to stop drinking and get her a shrink
First and foremost, make sure there is not one ounce of anything in the house. Make sure she knows how much you love her and want to help her. Seek out AA, and go with her. Be her support. Alcoholism is a disease, it is a curable disease. Don't give up.
Alcoholism is a social phenomenon that involves the whole family. The first thing that needs to happen is that she has recognize and accept that she has a problem then she has to seek the assistance of a seasoned specialist or an association such as AA. You also need to go to the therapy or the AA meetings to get the advice necessary to be able to cope with the situation. Good luck and God bless!
You can't....I have an ex out there who tried but didn't really try...he eventually became violent with me and then started in on my daughter,(not his child) that was the day we left and never went back...good luck..never easy...sounds like it is ultimatum time.

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