I genuinely love this guy. He's completely functional-he works hard, pays all the bills, and he's fairly organized. He treats me right (most of the time) too. I'm just concerned about his health more than anything else. He won't admit he has a problem, yet he drinks to get drunk almost every night. Besides the health issue, the only other aspect of it that bothers me is that he's really annoying when he's drunk. Should I try to convince him to get help, if so, how should I do that? Any ideas?I'm living with an alcoholic....?
You can't convince him to quit, it has to come to him. A functional drunk is still a drunk. Such men beget real drunks. You are not married, if I were you I would stop supporting his destructive behavior and hit that road. (My gf did this and divorced the man, two years latter he hit bottom and got sober, they remarried. Unfortunately their only son is a drunk, worse than what his dad was).I'm living with an alcoholic....?
Read ';Co-Dependent No More'; by Melanie Beatty. You and he are both lying to yourselves about the situation. I mean, do you really want to spend your life with a man who annoys you every night? There is an elephant in your living room and you just don't want to see it.
get help . . . . . . I work in healthcare and can honestly say that alcohol causes more deaths compared to any other drug!
Did ya ever think maybe YOU are why he drinks???? Hmmmmm
Give him a choice..you or the booze.
Are you sleeping with my husband lol, I'm in the same boat and its driving me insane to the point where I'm thinking about a divorce. My advice is tough love but to be honesty that don't last for long good luck sweetie do as I do Pray it can't hurt.
Get help ASAP from the doc. He's definately gonna hit on depression very soon.
How well I know this scenerio-I'm living it as we speak. I too lived for 4 yrs. with an alcoholic %26amp; although we have been split for 4 mths. now it has been the hardest thing I have ever gone through in my life. My ex left because, although he loves me %26amp; I love him, he loved the booze more %26amp; because I could not handle it anymore he walked. I hope %26amp; pray that someday he will realize what he has lost %26amp; what the future holds for him but, that still at this time is not an option for him. Alcoholism is a disease %26amp; once it gets it grips on you life will spiral down hill %26amp; take everyone in its path. I love him with all my heart, he is genuinely a very, kind, affectionate person %26amp; outside of the drinking we got along well together, he never takes a day off of work, always paid his end of the bills, etc. but, it tore me up inside to watch what it was doing to him. They are both killing themselves little by little each day %26amp; are blinded to the outcome of their futures. The only way they will ever change is to admit they have a serious problem %26amp; seek professional help. My ex is not willing to do that- alcoholism is just a symptom of much deeper issues %26amp; nothing you or I say will change that. Hopefully, your man will fear the idea of loosing you %26amp; will do something about it. I hope for your sake that will be the case for you- but, know that if you decide to try %26amp; help him make the decision to get help it will be a very long journey to recovery with many set backs. You have to decide for yourself if you are willing to stick it out or move on. I was willing but, for me, my ex felt it was easier for him to just walk %26amp; it has been nothing but, heartache for me since. I wish for you that things will work out better than they have for me- be strong for yourself as well as him. Good Luck!
definetely give him the choice....keep you, or keep drinking? i had a similar situation and wanted to leave, it took a long while but finaly turned around for the better.....there is hope, talk with him if he is willing to go to AA then go with him and support this addiction, they are very hard to break..good luck
just tell him that you don't mind the drinking.. just him getting so drunk.. ask him if he could just tone it down a bit..once he see there is a promblem he may just tone it down on his own.. that what i did.. when i found my self saying i'm sorry everymorning... reading some of the stupid things i post on here.. and finding a new bruise on me
Yes he needs help. You need to sit down and tell him you are afraid to loose him more then anything. People get sick and die all the time from alcoholism. There may be something there mental that makes him drink so much. You need to find out what that is. Good Luck!
He definately has a problem if he drinks every night, try talking to him see if he would accept help, offer to go with him to the doctor. If he refuses, think about whether you two have a future as a relationship with an alcoholic will only end in tears.
Good luck hun
Tell him to go to AA or hit the road. If he wont and you cant leave then go to AA for familys of Alcoholics. I lived with one and Ill never do it again. Grampa B
my wife was an alcoholics and she didnt want to listen to my pleas until one night (like evey other night she got trollied) i told her that i hated her when she was pissed and i couldnt live with someone like that. any way the truth hurt and she stopped. it may not work but if he loves u like u love him then the truth has to be told
You are an enabler.......you are not doing him or yourself any favors by staying with that drunk! Don't you have any self respect that you would settle to live with a drunk? What kind of life do you think you are going to have with the loser?? WAKE UP!!!
go to a a classes with him
Went through the same with a brother. He was functional too and because he was functional none of his friends believed me or his wife when we implored them to not include him in their drinking binges. Eventually he hit rock bottom (dont know how or when this will happen) and he came to his senses. But the damage was done. He has bad memory, his hands tremble and he is very irritable, but at least he quit drinking. Right now we try to shelter him from any and every opportunity that may get him drinking again.
My gut feeling is that you need an intervention. That worked best for us. Drugs and therapy were useless.
If he drinks alone - he needs help
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