How can i forgive and be proud of my alcoholic dad when i can't?

We just had a family reunion after a 9-day novena prayer for my grandma who just passed away 2 weeks ago. I was so sad bec. she was so close to me and took care of me when my mom left us when i was still 6.It was bec. of my dad who is an alcoholic and used to fight with my mom that made her fly away into another country %26amp; leave all the responsibility with my grandparents,aunts and uncles. After the reunion, i am starting to become an angry person i can't help but compare %26amp; see how sad %26amp; unhappy my childhood was while all of my cousins have great families.i blame it all to my alcoholic dad. Everyone in our family %26amp; in the place where we live knows my dad is an alcoholic,out-of-school,unemployed guy while all of his cousins are so happy,successful and wealthy.Before my dad has lots of money coz my grandpa still has a business but it went bankrupt,but now my dad is now alone, we don't have our own house,just renting an apartment,he has no money and depends on my aunt to support him. I love him but i feel i am not a daughter to him for all those years when i was still young, he never cared about my school,never paid for my studying but just care about his friends and drinking. I feel tremendous shame, guilt, anger, resentment and can't help ask why i have such an unhappy childhood. I feel so bad and so angry of my broken past bec. of my dad. I don't know how to forgive my past,my dad, myself. I don't know how i can build up my self-esteem when people think of my dad as good-for-nothing guy. It hurts so much. My aunts keeps making me feel guilty that i have to take care of my dad bec. he is my responsibility.But i feel so helpless bec. i just graduated and will start my job in a call center next week. All i can help is contribute a part of my salary to aunt for my dad. But i still feel guilty and angry of the fact that my dad keeps on being a parasite to my aunt. I don't know how i can move on. I pray to God but so many things i cannot understand and it is the question of why did God made me live such a sad and broken childhood?why is my dad unlike those other dads who are kind,loving and responsible for their children and not let the relatives take the responsibility. I sometimes think i must be cursed and wanted so much to break the curse but don't know how. I keep praying to God that i would still love and honor my dad. But now, it makes it so hard bec. reality slams it to my face that i can never proud of my father.I wanted to be but i don't see what can make me. How do you forgive a father who has deprived you of the kind of childhood that every child has longed for?How can i forgive and be proud of my alcoholic dad when i can't?
Don't worry. I'm 14 and ever since i can remember, my dad goes to work late and comes home in the morning. I still don't know where he goes and used to think that he was cheating on my mom but he said that he was just drinking. The worst part is that we actually had like this little family meeting with me, my younger sister, my mom, and my dad. Me and my sister sent a note to him and we all cried over why he was doing it. I was the brave one. I went to hug him and i was relieved he knew about all the pressure i felt about everyone in my family knowing that he is a hardcore drinker. He stopped after a while . But that didn't stop him. It happened again ...and again...and it broke my heart about how he knew how i felt but still did it...i don't know what to tell you because i'm still figuring out myself but stay strong. Never be ashamed of the man , who even as imperfect he may be, cared for you because a lot worse things could've happened and always try to look on the bright side because no matter what ,, he's still your dad. Don't let alcohol and your past get in the way of a potential bright future. (Although i'm still trying to convince myself of that!)How can i forgive and be proud of my alcoholic dad when i can't?
you should blame he has he rt you severely your a strong with group therapy and asking questions your so hang in there
Your not responsible for your Dad at all,he is responsible for his own life and health.All you can do is get on with your life and try too make the best of your future. Try your best not to think about your pass so much. Contact someone with';AA'; to get some help for your dad,I hope everything works out for you. Just ask God too give you the spiritual help your going to need to over come your pass,and excel in your future.Good Luck and God Bless You I will keep you in my prayers.
You are not responsible to care for your dad! You responsibility ends when you try to get him to seek help, perhaps provide the number of AA or other organization and that's that.





If your other realatives want to ';care'; for him they are acting as ';enablers'; and that will not help in the end. You may want to join Alanon, for family of alcoholics. You will find others like yourself who have been dealing with the same problems you have been.





You need some emotional support. Don't count on your family members for that, they want to pass the buck to you. You don't owe your father anything. It was his life to do as he saw fit and he made his decisions. You need to make good sound decisions for yourself and not be strapped to your father.





Many of us have had crummy childhoods. We can't get them back. On the other hand even those with ';good'; childhoods have had problems, it's the nature of life. Get help for yourself so you feel supported and strong enough to do what you need to do.





You don't have to be proud of a man who didn't seek help for himself. At some point you may feel sorry for him, but probably not until you feel strong and have a good sense of yourself.





Keep truckin' and you'll be ok. Thanks for reaching out- it's a first step.